Forgive Me, Father— is a navigation of self and sexuality. It’s about pain and pleasure and the question of what’s in between. And beginning to allow myself to exist there instead.

Self-destruction can be a comfort zone. A delicious coping mechanism until it’s stops being fun. I knew I needed to destroy the self that was destroying the self. This meant dating my demons. Meeting the dark with loving eyes. Understanding perception and conditioning. I use the ‘why’ method — first finding a fear or desire and then asking myself why and why and why again. It always melts down to the same two conclusions: fearing death and wanting to give and receive love.

Unconditional love. A moment to moment state of being, that I practice towards myself and another. Breaking my Disney conditioning, I discover love is not simply a technicolor romance limited to two. It is far greater. Love is everywhere. It’s your relationship to your existence. That then bleeds into how you view and interact with the world. It’s accepting that you are disgusting and beautiful. It’s awareness of your behavior and finding amusement in your ambitions and need for perfection. It’s letting go of your identity. It’s realizing that we are all suffering. It’s understanding that you would rather be loved than admired.

Talking Art with Talia Blank